The Man Wall

by Lynn on September 17, 2014

Like most good things, it started as a joke:

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I taped a few pictures of handsome men in the corner of my sophomore dorm room.
My buddies added pictures of handsome men to the collection.
These handsome men became known as…
THE MAN WALL.

The Man Wall took on a life of its own.
Friends submitted pictures of their favorite men for The Man Wall.
My roommate and I spent hours searching for new material to expand The Man Wall.
My parents secretly worried I spent too much time reading magazines.

And that, my friends, is my crowning achievement in college.
Perhaps The Man Wall helped prepare me to become a romance author.

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Today’s post is brought to you by the letter “U”
– for University -

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The secret to sexual ecstasy

by Lynn on September 10, 2014

Like most folks, I’d like to learn the secret to sexual ecstasy.
In particular, my sexual ecstasy.

Like any good author, I searched for the answer in a bookstore.
At first, the answer eluded me.

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Dang, I must be in the wrong aisle.

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Wait a minute.
Getting warmer…

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I turned a corner and stumbled into a wealth of knowledge!

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At last, the answer hit me right between the eyeballs…
but my husband wouldn’t let me buy the book unless I agreed to one condition.

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And that, my friends, is why this book is sitting on my coffee table right now.
I’ll let you know when we actually read the darn thing.



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Now I know where all those frogs came from

by Lynn on September 3, 2014

My back yard is crowded with frogs.
I was wondering how they got there…until I saw this:

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If only I could figure out how all the mosquitos end up in my yard…

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I gave my kid away

by Lynn on August 27, 2014

Well, I did it.
I gave my kid away. To college.
To reacquaint myself with being a freshman,
I dug up a picture of my first dorm room:

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I’d never met my roommate until we moved in together.
She liked kitty cats. I liked Mike Schmidt.
We got along quite well, actually.

I’m a bit worried about my daughter, however.
You see, she was thinking about bringing this to college:

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I convinced her NOT to bring a stud finder to campus.
Instead, I promised to mail her something special to help adjust to college life.
I’m mailing her a drawing she made when she was 6 years old, and it’s perfect for her needs:

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That sign is going to work, right?
RIGHT??????

This post brought to you by Delusional Parents.
Don’t burst our bubble.

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Don’t make Snow White mad.

by Lynn on August 20, 2014

I’m not disturbed by the Hereford moose, cow, or bison on the roof.

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However, I’m shocked Snow White tied two of her dwarves to the chimney.
What did they do to anger her?

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Guilt-free dinner

August 13, 2014

I didn’t feel too guilty about eating the lobster when I realized he was already crawling into the butter. What are you eating for dinner tonight?

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She was normal when we bought her.

July 30, 2014

Our dog spends 80% of her day in her “corner.” She’s got a great view of the yard, the driveway, and the road. Her job is to bark wildly should she spot a squirrel or the UPS truck. PROBLEM: She has absolutely no idea what to do if another dog stops by. Most dogs love […]

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Attention all robbers…

July 23, 2014

Today, we are driving home from vacation. We aren’t going to be in a good mood ‘cuz of mosquito bites, sunburn, and poison ivy. Along the way, we’ll see the inevitable signs that our trip will become more complex. So, if you’re a robber inside our house, you’ll have plenty of time to steal stuff. […]

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Brothers are weird.

July 16, 2014

Brothers are weird. Therefore, you need to be wary when they buy you a present. Often, their presents are weird…like the one I got from my brother: My brother is an adult. I expected his gift-giving to improve. Not sink to these goofy levels…but then I saw this: Maybe he got me a collector’s item […]

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Friends smell good

July 9, 2014

(1) Friends go on walks together. (2) Friends accept you, even when you’re shy, weird, and bark at inappropriate times. (3) Try to make at least one BIG friend. Just in case you need a bodyguard. Or a ride to the grocery store. (4) Friends will never scare you. Unless it’s Halloween. (5) Some friends […]

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