Things they should teach at school

by Lynn on August 24, 2016

In honor of the forthcoming start of the school year,
I’d like the School Board to address the following issues:

TOPIC ONE:

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TOPIC TWO:
Shouldn’t our kids learn how to make a healthy version of this?
Truly, wouldn’t this type of endeavor solve a lot of our problems?

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And finally, TOPIC THREE:
Shouldn’t there be a prom for parents?

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Thank you.

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I decided to see a movie.
Took forever to buy a ticket.

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The dude in the ticket booth wasn’t very helpful.
By the way, this is what happens at our movie theater during a thunderstorm:

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No electricity, no movie. I didn’t mind the wait, however.
The peaceful time gave me a chance to ponder some deep thoughts.

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Moral of the story:
Never, ever go to the movies in a thunderstorm.
And never, ever lose your cell phone.

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Deep thoughts

by Lynn on August 10, 2016

Whenever I’m with my teens, I need a translator.
What does “I ship Kristin and Joe” mean?

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Life and death on the golf course

by Lynn on August 3, 2016

I always see something scary when I play golf.

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This scary scene was completely my fault.
I drilled my ball into the lip of the bunker, and cried.
My spirits lifted later in the round when I spotted something near the 12th tee.

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The baby bunny let me get so close to him,
I almost scooped him into my pocket.

My husband yelled “Noooooooo!”
And the bunny hopped away.

I blamed my husband for thwarting the bunny-capture.
He insisted that I should never touch a wild animal on the golf course.
Terrible, terrible things can happen if you bring home a tiny baby bunny.

I didn’t believe him, until I saw this:

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That cute little bunny ate one of the geese who wander around the golf course.
Thank goodness I didn’t bring that bunny home.

Moral of the story:
ALWAYS listen to your husband.

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Nothing to see, here.

by Lynn on July 27, 2016

Please don’t sit on the dog.

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Dog days of summer

by Lynn on July 20, 2016

Rolling down the car windows helps everyone make new friends…

Once you reach past fear, you'll reach your goals. copy

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Ah, July.
The perfect time for bathing suits.
And regret. I wish I hadn’t eaten all those Xmas cookies.
And Valentine’s Day candy. And Easter bunnies. And pizza.

Strange thing is, I’m far more critical of myself than of other women.
I find every flaw when I look in the mirror, yet it’s easy to find the beauty in others.
None of us are shaped like the air-brushed, edited pictures in glossy fashion magazines.

And that’s a good thing.

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Ghosted by an editor

by Lynn on July 6, 2016

I’ve been struggling with the one question that baffles every romance author: what should I do next? Over the past few years, the publishing industry has changed (and continues to change) drastically. Landing a contract with one of the “big” publishing houses in New York used to be every author’s goal, but the advent of self-publishing changed everything. Suddenly, an author doesn’t need a publishing house to sell her work. So why bother with an agent, an editor, or a publishing house?

Problem is, self-publishing requires a lot of time that I’d rather spend writing. With that in mind, I decided to pursue a contract with a big publishing house. I had a fantastic experience working with a smaller publishing house; perhaps teaming up with a larger publisher who had a larger audience might be the best way to “grow” my career.

I wrote a trilogy of books. I submitted them to a number of editors and agents. And then I waited. And waited. And waited. After months of waiting, I sent a follow-up email. Sometimes, I received a rejection. Other times, I never heard an answer…even from a well-known romance publishing house that recently hired lots of new editors to shorten their query response time. I became tired of waiting and ended up withdrawing my story submission.) Finally, an editor told me she was interested in my work, but her publishing house wouldn’t be able to publish my stories until 2 years from now. Not good. I’d already waited 6 months for her response. I couldn’t wait another 2 years before my next book came out.

A while later, another editor from a different publishing house expressed great interest in my trilogy. The house was preparing to open a new “line,” and my stories would be a great fit. She emailed me and asked if I would be willing to remove the secondary plot in the novel (which would significantly cut the length of the story). I agreed to remove that portion of the plot, because I wanted to work with this publishing house. The editor was delighted, and promised to get back to me in two weeks.

Finally, I’d found an editor with a powerful publishing house! I celebrated by doing some yard work.

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I told my writing buddies that things were looking good. I’d be with an awesome publishing house, writing awesome stories, working with an awesome editor who was excited about my work.

Two weeks passed. No word from the editor. Heck, I knew she was busy, so I didn’t push. Five weeks later, I was beginning to wonder what was going on. I emailed her just to confirm that she was still interested in my work, and received a surprising response. She’d decided not to buy my story, but gee whiz, she’d love to see something else I’d written, particularly if it was written in first-person.

Well gee whiz, how long was she going to let me sit around a wait before she mustered the courage to tell me she’d changed her mind? And gee whiz, I don’t write in first-person. And gee whiz, did she really think I’d submit another story to her after she “ghosted” me for weeks?

Shortly after this debacle, I made another startling discovery:

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Clearly, I had to rethink my life. After getting burned by editors who didn’t seem to care about leaving me in the dark, self-publishing became more palatable to me. I’d be able to publish when I wanted to publish. I’d have control over cover art and pricing. Theoretically, I’d earn more. (When publishers sell your book, they take 75% of net sales, leaving the author a piddly 25% earnings, depending on your contract). However, there’s one problem with going into business for yourself: risk.

Becoming a self-published author is a risky endeavor. You need to set up a decent business plan. You have to spend time running your business, rather than writing. You must hire cover artists, find editors, figure out how to format ebooks, determine whether you’ll offer paperback copies, and make a hundred decisions that may or may not be huge mistakes. And then you need to devote a lot of time and resources to marketing your book, but authors have been doing (and funding) their own marketing for years. Why not take on the other aspects of publishing in order to have full control over my work?

So that’s what I’m going to do. After waiting over a year to find a publisher for my work, I’m going to become my own publisher. I’ll be releasing my next book, and having a series of profound panic attacks, this autumn.

In the meantime, thanks for understanding why I haven’t written a blog post in a while. I’m looking forward to catching up with you over the summer.

Love,
Lynn

 

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You can do it!

by Lynn on April 13, 2016

In case you need some inspiration, today.

Once you reach past fear, you'll reach your goals. copy 2

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Service with a smile

by Lynn on April 6, 2016

We’ve taken a few college tours with my youngest daughter.
I’m so impressed with these facilities, the students, the programs.
Makes me want to do college all over. Well, except for the dorm rooms.

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If I were a student again, I’d take a ton of interesting classes.
I’d focus on creative writing, the arts, history, music, dance, etc.

But wait a minute. We’re still students. We can still learn about neat topics.
Better yet, we don’t have to live in a cramped dorm room.
So…what subject interests you?

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