Lying to myself

by Lynn on September 2, 2015

“The second time will be easier.”
I kept repeating this lie.
Over and over.

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But whenever I saw the college gear accumulating in the dining room,
I felt a sharp pang in my midsection.

The pain worsened when I realized that some of the school supplies
were the same ones we used to buy when she was in first grade.

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There were also dorm necessities,
like fans and rugs and late-night snacks.
Stuff kids need when they move away from home.

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Change can be painful and scary,
but good things will come from it.

Yet right now, we kind of feel like the dog does
whenever someone pulls out of the driveway and leaves her.

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We’re forlorn.
We miss our college kid.
And we’re barking at the neighbors.

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This post brought to you by Sophomores in College.
Please tell our mothers that we’re just fine.

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Closets are for eating.

by Lynn on August 12, 2015

A cookie told me that I needed a break.

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I don’t know about you, but I ALWAYS obey cookies.
So, I grabbed the healthiest item I could find from the fridge…

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…and I searched for the one spot no one would find me…

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…and I ate the whole chocolate pie and took a nap.
I feel MUCH better now. And not guilty at all.

***

FYI – my book is on sale for $0.99 until Friday (August 14).
Please tell your friends who like to read romance.

CAG promo pic2 no clue but this works!

The last thing Mitchell Blake needs is another hot-shot consultant to “save” his glassblowing factory,
but this one is different. She is hiding something. If he can unearth Jaye’s secrets,
he might have good reason to fire her…or keep her forever.

** CLEAR AS GLASS is a 5-time Romance Writers of America award winning romance
and a finalist in the 2015 Book Buyers Best contest.**

Available at: AmazoniBooks,
Google PlayNook , Kobo and for all ebook readers

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We’re having a .99 sale!

by Lynn on August 5, 2015

Good news:  my book is a finalist in the 2015 Book Buyers Best contest!
To celebrate, my publisher is putting Clear as Glass on sale for $0.99!
That’s over 350 pages of love for under a dollar.
What a bargain!!

CAG promo 2

The last thing Mitchell Blake needs is another hot-shot consultant to “save” his glassblowing factory,
but this one is different. She is hiding something. If he can unearth Jaye’s secrets,
he might have good reason to fire her…or keep her forever.

** CLEAR AS GLASS is a 5-time Romance Writers of America award winning romance **

Available at: AmazoniBooks,
Google PlayNook , Kobo and for all ebook readers

The $0.99 sale lasts until August 14, 2015.
If you know someone who likes reading romance,
please let them know!

Love,
Lynn K.

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Where do I put the dead bodies?

by Lynn on July 29, 2015

I’ve got murder on my mind…
but I don’t know how to kill my victim.

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My victim is a jerk.
She takes over EVERYTHING.
AND she loves to choke things to death.

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Not only has she filled the flower bed,
she’s starting to creep into the back yard.
Certain members of my family are looking the other way…

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…but I know this is a problem I’ve got to face.
Pretty soon, the ivy is going to grab hold of one of us.
So if I don’t appear some Wednesday, you know who to blame.

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How do I kill her?
I’m desperate.
Please advise.

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This post brought to you by Girls Who Hate Ivy.
We’re afraid it’s going to…AHHHHHHHHH!

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I’m not relaxed.

by Lynn on July 22, 2015

I caved in and bought an “adult” coloring book.
Because why cook dinner when I can color, instead?

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The pages looked promising.
Ah, the works of art I’d create while I forgot all my troubles!
I dreamed of my new art career, eagerly opened my new box of crayons, and…

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Wait. What?

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The tips were broken!
ALL the tips were broken off!!!!
Anger zipped through me. I paid good $$ for this stuff!
I screamed and yelled and ripped my coloring book and cried…

…and felt like a five year-old again.
Alas, here is the fountain of youth!!! Yippee!!

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Well, howdy.

by Lynn on July 15, 2015

I met a guy who is TOO tall…but wears heels, anyway.

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I admire him for his fashion choices,
but I wish someone would remove his shirt label.

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He’s got a remarkably flat bottom for such a big guy.
I guess carrying a huge gun works your glutes.

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I didn’t know how to read him. Was he happy or sad?
His big smile seemed at odds with his “thumbs down” gesture.
But then I noticed the distant telephone pole between his legs…
and suddenly his strange expression made a little more sense. Or not.

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I climbed up to his hand to see what he held.
It was a small town…and now I’m the mayor!

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This post brought to you by Authors Who Should Stop Fooling Around.
Blogging about giant cowboy statues isn’t very productive.

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A case study on teenaged girls

by Lynn on July 8, 2015

I’ve just completed a major study of 16 year-old girls.
Frankly, the results are terrifying.

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You see, I invited a bunch of 16 year-olds to my house for a party.
I hid in the corner and watched their behavior.
My first observation: they eat a ton.

They powered through a 5-gallon tub of popcorn in one night.
Yowza. That’s a lot of popcorn. While they ate, they…

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…played charades into the wee hours of the morning.

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…and then they walked on the Boardwalk…

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…and then they went on the beach to surf and swim.
I couldn’t keep up with them and had to ditch my research.
In fact, their boundless enthusiasm made me feel a little blue and dejected.
If only I had that unflagging energy, I’d be able to accomplish sooooo many things.

But then I realized something that made me feel a LOT better.
In a few years, this will happen to those gorgeous, energetic young women:

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Mwah ha ha ha!

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On the Boardwalk, you’re never bored.

by Lynn on July 1, 2015

Our national anthem plays every morning on the Boardwalk at Ocean City, NJ.
And every morning, people stop, put their hands over the hearts, and listen.

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It’s a beautiful, beautiful thing.

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Every time I witness this,
I decide to indulge in some good ol’ American festivities…

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After the ride, I was a little dizzy.
Which may explain why I fell in love with this guy.

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Our relationship was a bit scary.
But not as scary as…

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Which is one example of how a day can start out so beautifully…
and end so tragically.

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Signs of insanity

by Lynn on June 24, 2015

I love the Boardwalk.
Aaaaaand, I found a way to spend the whole summer here:

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Will they hire me if I eat all the fries?
I won’t need to use my salary to buy groceries,
because I found a free way to feed my family food they love:

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I tried to eat a pizza pie in 11 minutes to win lots of pizza, and failed.
So, this is my new meal plan for delicious summer dinners:

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 After tonight’s dinner, we went for a walk and saw this sign.
Signs like this one are all over the Boardwalk. I love ’em.

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Unfortunately, my dog spotted a different sign…
and stopped talking to me.

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We resolved the problem with a special outfit.
I dressed her up as a seagull,
and now she fits right in.

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Where will you vacation this summer?

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You want me to do WHAT in public?

by Lynn on June 17, 2015

We just spent a week vacationing at “the shore,”
and I learned some VERY odd things.

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First of all, Carmen won’t talk about my future…
unless I pay her money. Does that seem wrong to you?

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I gave Carmen money…
because I want to know what I can look forward to.
Maybe I’ll sell tons of books, or sign a huge movie deal!

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But there’s a ton of people around, Carmen!
Maybe we should just focus on my future love life…

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Geez.
Forget it.

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This post brought to you by Carmen.
She’s got a one track mind.

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