Who melted on my floor?

by Lynn on December 17, 2014

We are ready for Christmas.

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It kind of looks like an elf went nuts in here.

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There are snowmen, everywhere.

‘Cuz I collect ‘em.
‘Cuz they always smile.
‘Cuz they make me happy.

There are non-snowmen displays, too.

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However, I’m a bit concerned.
There is water on my kitchen floor.
Is it from an ice cube? A leaky pipe? Or…

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…a melting snowman????

 

 

 

 

 

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My illicit affair with Santa Claus

by Lynn on December 10, 2014

My husband isn’t happy about my obsession with Kris Kringle
…or the “elfies” I take with Santa every time I see him.

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This post is meant to assure my husband he has nothing to worry about.
For one, Santa has a LOT more wrinkles than my spouse.

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Oh, Santa. This summer, please use sunblock.
Perhaps we should also talk about Santa’s struggle with his glasses.

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I’m charmed by Santa’s white beard,
but sometimes he waits too long between trips to the barber.

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And then there are just some days when Santa looks…frightening.

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See?
So don’t worry, honey.
You’re the best-looking guy I know.

Love,
Lynn Kringle
Oops! I meant to write Lynn Kellan

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The post brought to you by Wives Obsessed With Santa.
It’s a seasonal disease.

 

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How to look cute for Christmas

by Lynn on December 3, 2014

Looking cute is important, especially if you want someone to take you home.
This time of year, EVERYONE wants you to take them home
…and wrap ‘em up in festive paper and bows.
Sounds fun, right?

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After extensive research at my local Costco, I found the secret.
The key to winning someone’s heart is BIG eyes.

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The bigger the eyes, the better.
If you don’t want to spend Christmas morning alone,
make your eyes BIG…bigger than your cheeks, if possible.

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I certainly don’t want to spend Xmas alone.
I want Santa to take me home, but my current appearance won’t work.

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Thanks to a little plastic surgery,
I’ve increased my chances of a merry Christmas…

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Ho Ho…Holy cow I look amazing!

or…

Ho Ho…Horrifying?

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Thinking of you…

by Lynn on November 26, 2014

 

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I’m so thankful for…YOU!

Happy Thanksgiving.

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Merry Halloween!

by Lynn on November 19, 2014

I’m all messed up.
I missed Halloween while I promoted my book.

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By gosh, I won’t miss Christmas…so I’m starting early.

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Unfortunately, the store had only LEFT boots on sale,
but I managed to make the left boot look sexy AND creepy at the same time.

I decided to get this, instead…

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No, this isn’t a “selfie.”
It’s an “elfie.”

And, of course, we need this…

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Oh, just one more thing…

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Let’s not tell my husband about these purchases, okay?
He loves surprises.

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This post brought to you by Delusional Wives.
We shouldn’t eat candy while we shop.

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College is better without homework

by Lynn on November 12, 2014

How do you celebrate a wedding anniversary without spending a ton of money?
My husband and I decided to go back to college, tuition free!
We travelled north along the Susquehanna River
and spotted Lady Liberty:

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A local lawyer and an artist built a replica of Lady Liberty
to celebrate the statue’s centennial in the 1980s.
It’s really cool to see the replica.

My husband and I  were inspired to replicate our first meeting:

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Looks romantic, right?
We met on this street near my old dorm and his fraternity.
Back then, I had a ton of homework, so I said hello and went to the library.
(Well, not really, but that’s what I’m telling my parents and my kids.)

Now that we’re married with kids, we don’t have to study microeconomics.
So, we enjoyed the campus. Of course, we had to go golfing…

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We took a moonlit stroll…

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Then we had a great dinner, watched TV, and didn’t go near the library.
Sometimes, being over 30 is much better than being a college kid.

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This post brought to you by Old People Who Think They Look Like College Kids.
Please don’t call us “Sir” or “Ma’am.”

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My husband’s secret life

by Lynn on November 5, 2014

I realized my husband was living a secret life in Kmart.
Because  devastating secrets are found in the costume aisle.
You see, I thought my husband was a geeky scientist, but he’s also…

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…a Halloween wig model!
Ohmygosh, this explains all the extra cash in his wallet.

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Apparently, sticking a comb in my husband’s wig makes him REALLY happy.
And look! This is how my husband looked when I met him in college:

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What a hunk, right?
This next picture boosted my estrogen levels:

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Honey, please wear that wig tonight and all is forgiven.

Love,
Your groupie

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This post is brought to you by Women Who Love 1980’s Rock Stars.
You rock our world…especially when you unload the dishwasher.

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Fire + hot guys = new book

by Lynn on October 29, 2014

A few years ago, I visited the Simon Pearce glassblowing factory.
I was awestruck by the whole operation.

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In order to make glass pliable, it has to be heated in 2,400 degree fires.
Glassblowers have a short period of time to shape the glass before it hardens.

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Often, glassblowers work in pairs.
The loud furnace makes talking virtually impossible,
so glassblowers use nonverbal cues to communicate with one another.

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Hot glass can cut through skin and bone…
yet glassblowers create works of art out of molten silica.

Here I am at Manchester Hot Glass in Vermont, with Andrew.
He helped me make a paperweight, which sits on my writing desk.

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Glassblowers are so skilled, they make shaping glass look easy.
It’s not. I couldn’t shape a simple round paperweight.
Andrew had to fix it for me.

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I was so impressed by these men, I had to write a story about one.

CAG promo pic no clue
The last thing Mitchell Blake needs is another hot-shot consultant to “save” his glassblowing factory,
but this one is different. She is hiding something. If he can unearth Jaye’s secrets, he might
have good reason to fire her…or keep her forever.

Available on KindleNookebookiBooksKobofor all ebook readers, and in print.

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A new contemporary romance novel

by Lynn on October 22, 2014

My new book, Clear as Glass, releases today.

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Clear as Glass
 won 5 Romance Writers of America chapter contests
and is published by The Wild Rose Press.

The last thing Mitchell Blake needs is another hot-shot consultant, but this one is different.
She is hiding something. If he can unearth her secrets, he might have good reason to fire her…or keep her.

So, if you’re in the mood for romance,
perhaps this one is for you?

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Available on Kindle, Nook, ebook, iBooks, Kobo, for all ebook readers, and in print.

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I made the mistake of visiting my firstborn at college for Parents’ Weekend.
I was nervous. I needed reassurance that we sent her to the right school.
When we arrived, I saw terrible signs that we’d made a huge error.

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Clearly this “inoperable fireplace” has been used.
That wasn’t the only weird thing going on at college.
Apparently, there is a 24 hour study room in the library

…but I saw this:

 

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If this place doesn’t know the definition of a 24 hour study space,
what nonsense are they teaching my kid?

My anxiety skyrocketed when I saw this:

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Geez-oh-Pete.
Seven years of bad luck.
I offered to bring my kid home
…but she refused to get in the car.

Perhaps we chose the right place, after all.
Because she loves it.
I love it, too.

 

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