WARNING:
The following information
will dissuade anyone from procreating.
.
In fact, this post should be added to the sex ed curriculum at every school,
because it will stop a teen’s sex life dead in its tracks.
Unfortunately, it may also stop your sex life.
.
Are you ready?
Okay. Here goes…
.
My daughter said, “Mom, there’s something on the fireplace!”
I heard the distress in her voice, so I ran out to the living room, and found this:
Yowza. That's a big spider.
Believe me, I wanted to scream like a little girl and run out of the house,
but my little girl was frozen with terror. I had to catch the critter.
I ran into the kitchen,
grabbed an empty jelly jar,
ran over to the fireplace and scooped the spider up.
I pretended that I wasn’t grossed out.
I’m a good actress.
The itsy bitsy spider crawled up the water spout…
Admittedly, I felt a little faint during the incident, but I kept on keepin’ on.
Had to. Hysterical child in the room. Husband at work.
If I didn’t catch the spider, she might end up in my kid’s bed.
Or MY bed!
I carried her outside, far, far away.
I calmly opened the jelly jar lid and threw the contents into the forest.
Then I promptly called my husband and told him I didn’t want to live in the woods anymore.
This post brought to you by Parents Who Pretend to Be Brave.
We meet at For Love or Funny, every day.
.
Have you written a post about an embarrassing moment?
I’d like to read it. I’ll send the funniest one a homemade prize!
Click here to participate.
Lynn Kellan is a romance novelist devoted to finding the love and the funny in every story. Her novella will be available in 2012, but she is always here to focus on the lighter side of life. 
"You make me start my day with a smile!" from Ravit
{ 26 comments }
Good heavens that is a huge spider! I’m afraid I would’ve been the one screaming my head off. I do not like anything with more than 4 legs or less than 2!!
.-= Elizabeth´s last blog ..Tree take down and removal =-.
Great information! I’ve been looking for something like this for a while now. Thanks!
oh my goodness! that would have made me cry, faint, scream, hit the fetal position….all at one time. i can take out a spider with the best of them, but i specialize only in ones that are smaller than my head. holy moly!
i AM sending you a link to a post i did a little while back on when my hubs and i took down a 1 inch mouse that was in our house….all while i was about 8.5 months pregnant. it’ll make you giggle!
.-= alison´s last blog ..nine glorious months =-.
Ewww! We dealt with those ALL. THE. TIME. when we still lived in FL. They called them wood spiders down there. The house we bought was right next to the woods and they were always a battle for us. They would make my husband turn into a little girl! You might enjoy reading about HIS first encounter with one of those nasty critters; http://ramblingsofahappyhomemaker.blogspot.com/2009/01/another-spider-story.html
Thanks for reminding me how much I DON’T miss those things! :0)
Pam
.-= Pam´s last blog ..I Know I Said I Wouldnt Be Around Much- BUT =-.
That is one huge spider and you are a very brave mom! I’m definitely going to have to send the link to your post to my son. He is a spider-hater from WAY back.
I’m not a big fan of it, but I too belong to the Parents Who Pretend to be Brave club. Freakin’ huge spider! I have to swat away black widow webs everytime we play outside. Talk about heebee geebees. Not fun.
.-= Nicole´s last blog ..Favorite words of summer =-.
That just about made me lose my breakfast. I’m going to have the willies all. day. long.
You let it GO?!!! It might come back and end up in your house again! Once you had it trapped in the jar, you should have just let it STAY in the jar. Ick. Creepin me out.
.-= Paige´s last blog ..Summer fun =-.
That is one huge spider. I get spiders in the house all the time. If I saw one that big I don’t know what I would do. You are brave.
.-= M @ Betty Crapper´s last blog ..Meal Plan 6-28-7-4 =-.
Holy mackeral, that is frightening! Moms gotta do what they gotta do!
That’s huge! My sex life may be fine, but I would never sleep again. I’ll have to tell you about my bat one day, and how said bat landed on my face ruining a great dream. (I guess you have figured out that I’m not talking about the baseball kind of bat)
Visiting from SITS!
.-= Kelly´s last blog ..Lets Dance- – True Story Tuesday =-.
Sex toys add a bit of zest to the relationship and keep things from getting dull. Sex Toys for her
Oh my gosh! You are so brave! Wow! I can handle little spiders, but if I found one that size, it would be time to spontaneously go out for the day, until my husband got home and could hunt it down!
.-= Kelly´s last blog ..Ghost Town =-.
Looks like a wolf spider to me. I HATE spiders, but at least it’s nice to know it wouldn’t have killed you if it bit you.
http://www.termite.com/spider-identification.html#wolf
.-= Jennifer Ivins´s last blog ..Pirates vs Ninjas- =-.
Ugh! I could barely stand to look at the pictures!
.-= Mama Zen´s last blog ..Charity =-.
Must be spider season – we too, have had spider issues. My daughter described a large spider that she and her friends came across one evening, but I don’t think it was near the size of this “beauty”
This post brought to you by Parents Who Pretend to Be Brave <— this statement, HILARIOUS!! That would be me! I will meet you back her tomorrow.
Thanks for the fabulous blog!!
sex and spiders – doesn’t one of the spiders out there consume their lover after the affair?
good thing a reader above did the ID thing on it – if it was a brown recluse that would be nasty.
.-= lisleman´s last blog ..what if =-.
*chills running up and down my spine*
Egads! I hate spiders, too… but I am the brave one in the family (I have a grown son who squeals like a girl when a wasp buzzes by!) so I do the swat-and-remove.
Ugh.
Thanks… now I feel like I have creepy crawlies all over me! LOL!
.-= Diana´s last blog ..they’re among us =-.
oh.my.word. I would have screamed and ran OUT of the house. So not brave.
.-= melissa @ the inspired room´s last blog ..A Northwest Beach Cottage- Tips on Reflecting Your Surroundings and Finding Your Own Style at Home =-.
YIKES!!!!! You have just been awarded the “Bravest Mom in the Universe” award….I’d still be clinging to the door with a shotgun and if it came near me I would’ve shut my eyes and shot in its direction. (It wouldn’t have been pretty).
.-= The Retired One´s last blog ..More This and That =-.
Umm, I leave those spiders alone as they eat other bugs in the house. I’m glad you didn’t kill it
) I hate roaches ick, yuck, ewww, gross. Anything else I have no problems with. Wolf spiders would have free run around here but I never see them anymore.
Holy smokes! That was a beauty. I guess what they say is true. We really WILL do ANYTHING for our kids.
I wasn’t even brave enough to take a mouse trapped in a plastic box to the woods and let it go. I am really impressed with you!
.-= Angelia Sims´s last blog ..I’ve Come to Realize… =-.
Not sure how that would stop me from procreating, but it may make me block up my fireplace….
It was brave of you to catch it but I would have killed it tooo
.-= Vodka logic´s last blog ..Diet Challenge week 3 =-.
Ummmm….You are a brave, brave woman. I would have ran away screaming leaving my offspring to fend for herself…Just saying! Now I feel all itchy and paranoid!
nice post. thanks.
Holy freakin’ sweet Jesus. OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG. I think I would move. Right then and there. Good for you mama…
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