There’s someone in my kitchen who doesn’t approve of my cooking.
He thinks hot dogs and potato chips don’t qualify as “health food.”
In other words, he’s a party pooper…
His condescending expression bothers me.
I decided to cook a healthy meal, just to show him I could.
The moment I’m criticized by a ceramic frog, I rise to the occasion.
That’s just how I roll.
Oh yeah. There’s vitamin B1, folate, and lots of fiber in fresh corn.
He seemed unmoved. And alarmingly dusty.
I reached into my shopping bag, and presto…
Can’t get much healthier than sliced tomatoes.
Chock full of Lycopene, Vitamin C, and delicious too.
Aw, come on!
What will it take to impress you?
I know! I’ll add something rich in Vitamin A…
And let’s not forget a healthy source of protein from ground turkey…
Oh crud. I dropped a third of it on the floor.
I thought about picking it up and putting it back in the pan,
but then my sanity returned and I scooped the meat off the floor and threw it away.
I blame the frog. He makes me nervous.
I began to search for his receipt, because I wanted to drive him back to the store.
He was saved by the hungry teenagers who started to swarm the kitchen.
They peered down at the stove and made scary grumbling noises.
I wondered if I had enough meat to feed a family of four?
Unlikely.
I’d have to supplement this meal with dairy.
There’s lots of calcium in milk, and we all need lots of that.
There! A healthy meal, thanks to the bounty of summer.
Oh, and a new place of honor for my froggy friend…
From now on, froggy know-it-alls will stand by old college textbooks.
They’re both useless when it comes to feeding hungry teens.
.
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Lynn Kellan is a romance novelist devoted to finding the love and the funny in every story. Her novella will be available in 2012, but she is always here to focus on the lighter side of life. 
"You make me start my day with a smile!" from Ravit
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I think that would make a perfectly good excuse for me to take my family out to eat. Next time I am craving a meal from a good resturaunt I may just have to “accidentally” drop our dinner on the floor!
Hmmm… it depends on what I’m cooking. If I can easily wash it off and throw it in the pot, that’s what I’d do. But if it was something sticky or gooey, it would definitely go in the trash. I hope my husband doesn’t read this.
i have dutch blood–this means that nothing can go to waste. we would definitely eat something that fell on the floor. unless our company was sitting right there watching me. then i would very reluctantly throw it away…(shoot)
I was making cookies just the other day. My kids were helping me. I cracked the eggs into the mixer bowl. I must have been tired as the WHOLE shell fell in with the eggs. My kids turned the mixer on, hence we had egg shell cookies instead of chocolate chip cookies!
So funny! If the dropped food item bounces and doesn’t stick then it can be put back in the pan and heated to remove all yuck that wasn’t removed when blowing on the item after the 30 second rule saved it from the trash can!!!!
At my house we always say “That’s what your immune system is for!” I would definitely wash off hamburger, chicken or something like that. If it’s something you can’t really wash off and then COOK like a cupcake, then it definitely goes in the trash. This works ONLY at home…if it’s a public place then ABSOLUTELY NOT!
Hello!
I agree with previous comments about being a perfect excuse to go out to eat!
PS-I’m still building my website.
One day a friend and I were eating lunch together. She happened to have pizza and I can’t remember what I was eating. Anyway, during the course of our lunch we were talking and laughing. At one point, my friend laughed so hard that her bite of pizza flew out of her mouth and landing on my clothing!
sazzyfrazz at gmail dot com
I have a funny story. I told my daughter that I could change the color on tv. We watched the Wizard of Oz and I told her I would change the color after Dorothy’s house crashed in the tornado. Her eyes opened up wide, and she was like, “Wow, Daddy, you were right!”
pauleyd68 (at) yahoo (dot) com
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