I know how the dinosaurs died.

by Lynn on September 21, 2010

A long time ago, huge creatures walked the earth.
Their mammoth feet crushed massive trees and pulverized boulders.
They gobbled up lesser creatures and drank entire lakes to slake their thirst.

Their screeches were loud enough to rupture eardrums and explode plants.
Yes, they were even louder than Van Halen, The Who, and Barry Manilow.


Then for some reason, the dinosaurs disappeared.
What powerful force of nature spurred the extinction of such terrible creatures?


Scientists can’t make heads or tails of the mystery.
I, on the other hand, know exactly what happened.
The evidence is clear as day. I can see right through it.


No, a rogue meteorite didn’t kill the dinosaurs. Sudden global cooling from a thick veil of volcanic ash didn’t do it either. In fact, the dinosaurs never started smoking cigarettes. Their diets were high in fiber and low in fat, so their cholesterol levels were good.

I know the real reason why the dinosaurs died…


They were killed by a fearsome creature with terrible breath.
Her funky halitosis stopped the massive dinosaurs in their tracks.
She took advantage of their stupor and gnawed off their heads and tails.

Quite frankly, she didn’t do it because she was hungry.
She did it because she was bored.


I shudder to think of the damage she’ll do if she ever gets angry.

.

TheShoppingGirl September 21, 2010 at 5:43 am

Stopping in from SITS. Love the post! Is she a collie, austrialian shepherd, something else? Very cute whichever one she is. Sometimes I feel like doing things like that when I’m bored, too. :)

Musings of a Housewife September 21, 2010 at 6:17 am

Funky halitosis, lol lol!!! I’ll remember to enter with caution if I’m ever invited to your house to dinner! ;-)

Karen and Gerard September 21, 2010 at 6:30 am

What big brave dog! Funny post, I enjoyed it. You may like to take a look at my post about the dinosaurs at the Cleveland Zoo: http://zemeks.blogspot.com/2009/05/dinosaurs-at-cleveland-zoo-watch-out.html
Karen and Gerard´s last blog post ..Do You Visit The Old Geezer

Robin September 21, 2010 at 9:02 am

I burst out laughing at the photo of the headless, tailless dinosaur!! Not only because it was unexpected, but because that is what my 2 youngest children do to plastic toys. I currently have a Belle figure waiting for her head to be reattached.

insanitykim September 21, 2010 at 10:28 am

Oh man, she’s a terror AND has beautiful teeth! Hard to believe she would have stinky breath but, maybe when you eat dinosaur heads and tails, it stays with ya for a while…

I am trying to stop Zimmel from eating bird poop.

Ohhhhh Potty Pet Park get here sooon!

SaucyB September 21, 2010 at 12:41 pm

aww, she’s so cute how could you blame her for eating her toy. hee hee

vodka logic September 21, 2010 at 7:09 pm

lol.. love it.

Your dog has the whitest teeth I have ever seen on an animal.
vodka logic´s last blog post ..I am a tech goddess

Haley-O (Cheaty) September 21, 2010 at 8:39 pm

Ahahahahahah! Love this. Love your dog! Thanks for the laugh. Also, really? The dinos pulverized boulders when they stepped on them? Woahh!
Haley-O (Cheaty)´s last blog post ..Starbucks BANE- Breaking Out &amp Bhujapidasana

Rachel---The Kooky Queen September 22, 2010 at 1:04 am

Hahaha, love this! Dog breath is the worst. Followed by cat breath. And then I’m sure right behind with my very own morning breath, lol. :)
Rachel—The Kooky Queen´s last blog post ..And the verdict is

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