The Big Bang theory…for dummies
My kids think I’m old enough to remember the start of the universe.
I tell them that yes, I once swam in the primordial soup.
It was kind of thick and smelly.
I saw the gas and dust collide to form planets. I witnessed the first thunderstorm.
And yes, I had a pet dinosaur. His name was Bronco Nagurski.
It’s kind of charming when my kids ask “What was it like to see life crawl out of the ocean?”
Ever the teacher, I respond: “You’re grounded.”
My kids ask me how these strange creatures climbed out of the ooze.
Frankly, I have no good explanation.
To make up for it, I tell them what it was like when Daddy first discovered fire.
Personally, I liked watching Daddy fight off the other men who wanted to steal our fire.
My husband looked so hot! Get it? Hot? Bwah ha ha ha ha.
All joking aside, I knew exactly when mankind’s intellect leapt to greatness.
It was precisely the moment when a harried, sleep-deprived mother came up with this:
I believe she lifted the S’more into the air and said, “Dinner’s ready!”