The Big Bang theory…for dummies

by Lynn on January 26, 2011

My kids think I’m old enough to remember the start of the universe.

I tell them that yes, I once swam in the primordial soup.
It was kind of thick and smelly.


I saw the gas and dust collide to form planets. I witnessed the first thunderstorm.
And yes, I had a pet dinosaur. His name was Bronco Nagurski.


It’s kind of charming when my kids ask “What was it like to see life crawl out of the ocean?”
Ever the teacher, I respond: “You’re grounded.”


My kids ask me how these strange creatures climbed out of the ooze.
Frankly, I have no good explanation.

To make up for it, I tell them what it was like when Daddy first discovered fire.


Personally, I liked watching Daddy fight off the other men who wanted to steal our fire.
My husband looked so hot!  Get it?  Hot?  Bwah ha ha ha ha.

All joking aside, I knew exactly when mankind’s intellect leapt to greatness.
It was precisely the moment when a harried, sleep-deprived mother came up with this:


I believe she lifted the S’more into the air and said, “Dinner’s ready!”