None of these men pinched my butt

by Lynn on September 26, 2011

Back in high school, my nickname was “Farrah.”
It was an homage to my resemblance to Farrah Fawcett Majors.

If you’re feeling jealous, let me assure you that I didn’t always look so groovy.
I went through a very long period of time without a straight part.
And without straight teeth…

My past hairdos caught up with me this weekend.
I travelled to the hair capital of the world: New Jersey.
I attended a singularly important event that happens once in a lifetime.

It was my 30th high school reunion. I chose my outfit carefully.
I had to prove that I no longer wore HUGE white collars.
In public, at least.


What if folks remembered my blue plaid? What if I tripped the class president?
What if I yelled “Where’s the carrot cake?” at an inappropriate moment?
What if nobody believed I had Martians in my back yard?

My anxiety disappeared as soon as I found my band buddies.
When you find someone who is willing to wear a large, furry hat and a scratchy wool uniform with you on a cold, rainy football field for four years, you are united forever.

When you find the girl who took you to the shore in the summer,
and went sledding with you in the winter,
you are united forever.

When you find the sweetest “new” girl who moved into the neighborhood,
and when you find your basketball teammate who didn’t make fun of you
when the coach reduced you to tears, you are united forever.

That’s the beautiful thing about friendship.
It never goes away, even 30 years later.


However, even though I’m 30 years older,
I still couldn’t work up the courage to say hi to the most popular guy in the room.

Some things never change!