If your neighbor won’t stop flirting with your husband…

by Lynn on August 7, 2013

Don’t marry someone good-looking.
You’ll spend the rest of your life fending off the competition.
If you made the mistake of marrying someone “hot,” then follow this advice.
When your neighbor won’t stop flirting with your spouse, invite her/him on a road trip.

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Take her/him to a hotel in Atlanta in August. Share a room on the thirty-fourth floor.
While you unpack, mention how much you absolutely adore your spouse.

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Nudge your neighbor close to the window.
Tell her/him you have a problem. Sharing isn’t easy for you.
Actually, you share feelings just fine. Sharing your spouse is the problem.

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Tell your neighbor the notion of sharing your spouse makes your insides vibrate
like you’re inside a thundercloud on the 34th floor of a hotel in Atlanta.
A demonic laugh will drive home your point quite well.

At this moment, you’ll notice a sheen of sweat on your neighbor’s brow.
He/she will blink rapidly. He/she will mutter something incomprehensible.
You’ll lean closer and he/she will promise never to flirt with your spouse again.

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When the skies clear, offer to buy your neighbor dinner.
They’ll decline and ask to go home. Accept their plea graciously.
Drive home and drop them off at the curb. Watch them scurry into their house.
Check your hair in the rear view mirror. Walk into your living room and make out with your spouse.

Repeat as necessary.

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How do you fend off unwanted flirtation?