Need a laugh?

Do you need some comic relief?  Maybe this will make you smile:

A tail of deception, intrigue, and revenge
…involving my pride and my dog.

Proof I’m living with a Martian
…there might be some sex in this story, too.

Proof the deer in my yard need braces
…they hate the monthly trip to see the orthodontist.

I cheated on my dog
…and liked it.

I will be destitute in two years
…because my kid won’t let me homeschool her for college.

I saw Martians on vacation
…they like hanging out on the boardwalk.

Why my life is in the crapper.
…all it took was a silk ribbon to start the downward spiral.

This is my brain on estrogen.
…why women are so complex. You’re welcome.

HELP! I’m being chased by a tree!
…sadly, it’s faster than I thought.

My dog looks weird in lipstick.
…however, she looks great in a hat.

I’m not a sex addict. Or a nudist.
…I think.

My favorite romance novels
…they’re much more entertaining than watching TV.

My dog is terrified of beeps
…so don’t text me.

My towel does NOT have a picture of a naked woman on it
…to the contrary, my towel has a picture of a naked man on it.

Butterflies are stupid
…because they don’t respond to my commands.

I can’t pee unless you open the door
…do you have the same problem?

How I almost won $10,000 dollars
…the story of my hole-in-one!

My husband spanked me, and I don’t care
…because I just want him to carry me to the car.

Why married people shouldn’t wash cars together
…unless you like to be distracted by your husband’s muscles.

What to do when your family runs away from your blog
…because you desperately need them to provide writing material.

I blame flatulence
…otherwise I would have had a lot more friends.

Our dog smokes cigarettes
…and I’m trying to get her to stop.

How to Romance a Romance Novelist
…because I could use some romance right now.

Our Marital Conflict
…you can probably relate to this one.

Sex ain’t fun if you’re all by yourself
…especially if your true love doesn’t know you exist

Estrogen makes me stupid
…I’m blaming it on hormones.

My former boyfriends still yearn for me
…unfortunately, they haven’t aged well.

Don’t do this at a football game
…or any other time, for that matter.

Does Prince Charming Carry Rope in his Leotard
…I sure hope so.

I know how the dinosaurs died
…I blame halitosis.

How to survive a year of marriage
…the key is what you don’t do.

Bloggers Without Makeup, Unite!
…because nude can be beautiful.

Don’t try to milk a cat
…they don’t like it.

Beware of cute little ducks
…because they mate at the most inopportune times.

I feel pretty…dirty
…but you probably already knew that.

What to do if your dog won’t protect you
…I should know. My dog rarely protects me.

My husband doesn’t read my blog
…thank goodness!

My husband can burn my eyebrows
…can yours?

I’m never going back to the museum. Ever.
…because learning is scary.

I’ve been dumped for a guy
… once again, my faithful companion isn’t so faithful.

These puppies will cheer you up
…unfortunately, I can’t convince my husband that we need one.

Girls in white dresses with blue satin sashes… or not
…Julie Andrews sings “My Favorite Things” differently at our house.

Proof that exercise is bad for you
…to preserve my good looks, I’m never going running again.

Why aren’t the men naked, too?
…am I the only one who wonders about this?

What to do if you’re locked in a cage.
…inspiration for when you’re feeling trapped.

I’m a mind reader, so don’t think too hard.
…I know what you’re thinking.

I’ve been cheated on. Again.
… I should be used to this by now.

There’s something weird between Daddy’s legs.
… need I say more?

There’s something weird between Mommy’s legs.
… it’s not what you think!

I can handle 21 inches.
… but I’m getting tired.

Help for baffled spouses.
… aren’t we all baffled?

I haiku. Do you?
… I loved reading the comments on this one.

What to do when your shoe farts.
… unfortunately, I’m an expert on this matter.

How to find true love…a guide for teens.
… actually, this is a guide for anyone looking for love.

Is it supposed to look like that?
… yes, it looks like that when it’s in my fridge.

With this ring, I thee pester.
… the definitive guide to surviving 20 years of marriage.