If you are the faint of heart, stop reading this post.
If you’ve got nerves of steel, please move into my neighborhood.
Once you’re unpacked, buy lots of garbage bags. You’ll need them soon.
When the sun comes out, I’ll call you. We’ll go for a nice walk.
At first, you’ll think it’s pleasant. You’ll be glad you moved next door.
But you might wonder why I’m chattering nervously as we approach the field.
Ah, the red barn. How quaint.
I’ll grab your arm and say, “Shhhhh!”
You’ll wonder why I’m pale and sweating.
We’ll turn into the field.
I’ll ask you if you brought a garbage bag.
When you say no, I’ll stuff my bag into your hands.
I’ll gently push you in front of me and point to a long black object in the grass.
You might think it’s a long garden hose. It ain’t…unless garden hoses slither. And hiss.
I’ll urge you to stuff the snake into the garbage bag and make him go away.
You’ll stuff him in the bag, because you have nerves of steel.
And because that’s what friends do for each other.
Afterwards, I’ll name all my kids after YOU.
Have you encountered a 15 foot snake on one of your walks?
If not, would you like the one in my field?
This post brought to you by Anything You Ask. She married a deaf man with too many secrets…and fell in love.
Available on Kindle now. On sale for other ebook formats in July.
He looked at me with those piercing blue eyes,
and asked me to sew a button onto his pants.
I agreed. Frankly, I was grateful for the chance to touch his pants.
I took my good, sweet time with every single stitch.
He wore the pants the next day.
Midway through lunch, he took a deep breath and…POP!
The button flew off, whizzed through the cafeteria, and landed on the boss’s spaghetti.
The button must’ve looked like a small meatball.
The boss scooped a huge forkful of spaghetti into his mouth…and ate the button.
My husband spent the rest of the day holding his pants up…and avoiding his boss.
So, when my daughter asked me to hem her prom dress,
I immediately begged my Mom to help.
Thanks, Mom. You’re the best.
How about you? Do you know how to hem a prom dress?
This post brought to you by Anything You Ask.
** Can a temporary marriage spark lasting love? **
Available on Kindle now. On sale for other ebook formats in July.
First, eggs were bad for you. Then they were good for you.
Now they are bad for you again.
I can’t take it any more.
These “scientists” can’t make up their mind.
Have no fear, friends. I can.
Go ahead and set the table.
Put out some nice flowers and your best china.
I’ve done extensive research, and my findings are irrefutable.
Ready? Here goes. I promise to never, ever, go back on my word.
Cake is a vegetable.
Go ahead. Dig in.
You should have 2 to 3 vegetables every day.
What would happen if you had to marry a virtual stranger?
What if marriage was the only way to get rid your bankrupt farm?
What if you started to fall in love with him, only to discover he has too many secrets?
My debut novella is here!
It’s called Anything You Ask.
To celebrate, here is a book preview:
Priced at $3.99. Currently available at Amazon.com.
On sale for other ebook formats in July.
Every writer needs a reader.
You give me what I need every time you visit my blog.
Thank you, my internet friends, for keeping me company while I write.
We are two weeks into lacrosse season,
and no fist fights have broke out between the parents of opposing teams.
I’m responsible for the placid sidelines.
My behavior sets the tone for the entire game.
Here’s my girl.
When she’s alone, I’m happy.
It’s a different story when she has company.
She ALWAYS has company.
Her visitors ALWAYS throw balls at her.
I find it quite upsetting. I weep. I cry. I suck my thumb.
I bury my head in stranger’s necks and beg them to stop the game.
And everyone is so distracted by my behavior, they don’t yell at each other.
On the spur of the moment, we took our teen to a water park.
Because the winter has been WAYYYYYY too long.
And cuz I love wearing a bathing suit. Ha ha ha.
My teen and her friend went off on their own, leaving my husband and I alone.
We travelled through tubes of coursing water, swallowed lots of chlorine,
and made out under the stairs when no one was looking.
A perfect day.
All that activity made me hungry.
I despaired of finding relief until…
Oh, yes. Healthy snack, here I come!
I chose potato chips, because my husband wasn’t looking.
Clapping my hands in anticipation, I waited for my selection to fall…
My husband heard me wail and rushed into the vending machine room.
When he discerned the reason for my distress, he did what any man would do.
He grabbed the machine and rocked it back and forth to free my potato chip snack.
It didn’t work, but my husband’s biceps bulged. Pretty soon, I forgot about the chips.
She greets everyone, but she isn’t your typical hostess.
You won’t find a welcoming smile on her face.
Rather than offer you a drink or crack a joke when you appear,
she’s thinking about the job she has to do.
Holding the light aloft requires a strong, sturdy arm.
In many respects, she looks quite masculine,
but I find her quite beautiful.
When I first saw the Statue of Liberty when I was a kid, I wondered why she wasn’t smiling.
Now I know. She takes her job very seriously, lifting her torch for all to see.
She arrived in 1886 in 350 pieces. It took four months to assemble her.
Which goes to show that even though you might fall to pieces,
you can still stand for something wonderful
when you pull yourself together.
These pictures were taken by my teen,
who visited New York City on her class trip.
My novella reached #1 in Contemporary Fiction and #1 in Women's Fiction during the week it was offered for free. Now available on Kindle. On sale for other ebook formats in July. Click book cover for more info. When a temporary marriage starts to feel real,
can love grow despite so many secrets?
Watch the book preview...
"Lynn Kellan is a prolific writer with great imagery. Her ability to take the reader on a journey of excitement, discovery and romance is spellbinding. Lynn's characters are alive and vibrant. The heroes in her books are flawed but still strong. I can't wait for her to take me on another journey." - Renee Wynn, author of The Heart Knows and Seasoned Just Right.
"In ANYTHING YOU ASK, Lynn Kellan turns her attention to detail to draw readers into this emotional story. The story unfolds beautifully and ends the way a romance should." - Jacki Kelly, author of The Sweet Road Home
"Lynn Kellan is a superb writer who knows how to pull you into a story and keep you hanging on to the very end. She will have you rooting for her characters throughout the journey and waiting with breathless anticipation for her next book." - author Pat Leedom
When I'm working on a romance novel, a typical day looks like this...
Awake at 5am
Blog and email correspondence
Get kids ready for school
Take dog for a run
Fix what I wrote before lunch
Deal with after school activities
Try to make a decent dinner
Write a little bit more
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All of the photographs on this blog
were taken by Lynn Kellan.